Tag Archives: blog

The Comeback Kid…or…How MVM Got Her Groove Back

28 Feb

After a significant leave of absence from blogging about the perils of dating and the hilarity that ensues, MVM is making a comeback.

(Cue applause and cheering.)

To begin, let me answer the question I’ve been getting a lot over the past year or so – what happened to the blog?! To put it simply, it was a bit detrimental to my dating life.  I found myself writing blogs in my head before we’d finished the appetizers and going on dates for the purpose of blog fodder, but not much else.  In the few cases that something (or someone,) made it out of the Nickname stage, the writing was already on the walls… (pun intended.)

During my sabbatical, I did my fair share of dating – some of which was significant, some which was less than note-worthy, and some of which I’d plead the fifth about, if asked about in a court of law.

However, one update worth noting is that my single-girl days are a thing of the past – about 8 months past, to be exact. Having met a certain “Traveling Man” – story to come – last year, it’s unlikely you’ll see any (new) first-hand first-date stories from this monogamous blogger.

Now, now, don’t fret fair readers; just because I now get a standard “plus one” on my invites doesn’t mean that my outlook has changed.  I’m still the same biting social observer, here to bring you a unique spin on everything dating.  True to my former serial-dating self, (and conducive to the Traveling Man’s erratic cross-country work schedule,) I still manage to get myself into a healthy dose of trouble and a fair amount of surprising scenarios.

In the return of the blog, I’ll still be sharing experiences and anecdotes, doling out (sometimes harsh, sometimes hilarious,) advice, and in general, providing (what I hope to be) generally entertaining reading material for your mid-afternoon lull or the occasional “Case of the Mondays.”  There’s a whole world of material in a new relationship, and I’ve got enough single friends to inspire new content for years.

So keep your eye out each Monday, because as always, all is fair in love and blogging.


Response Requested: An MVM Contest

8 Sep

When I logged into my Match.com inbox today, I immediately knew what to blog about.  Here is the message I woke up to:

Subject: (none)

Message: “hello how are u i like your pics lol nice”

Now, I know that I can sometimes be overly critical of these match.com-ers…but COME ON!  Where do I even begin here?

1. We ALL know how I feel about bad grammar, but this guy’s disregard for punctuation, capitalization, and general linguistic structure blows me away.

2. “LOL?” What are you laughing at?  My pictures? Is that a compliment?  I don’t understand.

3. Nice?  You’re nice? I’m nice? Who’s nice? WHAT is nice?  Certainly not your haphazard attempt at a pick-up line.

It’s not easy to render me speechless but I think this email nearly leaves me at a loss for words.

As opposed to ignoring the message altogether, I’d like to take suggestions on how to respond!   Comment on the blog with your ideas; I’ll choose one of your suggested responses and post the winning reply on Friday’s blog.

…This should be fun.

Remember: If you’d like to submit a question or funny story for the Mid-Week Meltdown, send an email to myvaginamonoblogs@gmail.com, with your name, age, gender, and a little something about yourself.  I try to answer all questions in a timely manner.

Blog Overload!!!

13 May

Hey everyone!! Just a little heads up…

I’m on blog overload, with all the blogging I’m doing, I barely have time to DATE!!  From now on, I’ll be blogging Mon/Wed/Fri, instead of every day.  Don’t cry.  I’m sure you’ll live.

P.S. Went on a date last night with a guy last night who reminds me of Michael Phelpss…not because of his body type or his athletic ability, but because ALL night long, he looked as if he’d just gotten out of a pool.  I was making silent bets to myself on when his hair would dry.  It didn’t.  More to come on that front this Friday.

Mr. Let’s Make This Happen

24 Apr

I had an interesting conversation last night with another Match.com-er that I thought was blog-worthy…

I’ve exchanged 2 or 3 messages with this guy in the last few days; in his most recent email, he made a few relatively humorous statements, some innocuous comments and then said:

“You know what I’ve learned on match.com? No one wants to do anything other than chat. They get home and see that someone just made them feel special but they never have to leave their house.”

He then gave me his number and said to call him.

Hmm…well, I like the “cutting the BS” approach, and at the very least, the conversation will give me a better idea of what he’s like, so I call him.   Here’s how the conversation went:

Him: Hello?

Me: Hey, it’s Andrea, from Match.

Him: Oh…um…hey…hi…..

Me: Well, you’re obviously doing something wrong on Match.com, because I go on dates all the time!!

Him: Oh…um…well…

Me: That was a joke.

Him: Right, yea.

Me: So, Mister Let’s Make This Happen, when do you want to go out?

Him: Well, right now, I’m downtown and I have to…

Me: Um…no.  Not tonight…pick a time in the future.  I’ve got plans tonight through Monday night, how about Tuesday?

Him: Oh wow…you’re popular. (Sidebar: Indicating that you don’t have a life?  Super smart guy…huge turn on. Ugh.)

Me: I’m just busy…so anyway, in your email, you made some comment about getting all dressed up and doing something silly, right?  What were you thinking? (Sidebar: for the record, I thought that was weird, but could definitely see the laugh factor there – think black-tie attire at the SD Zoo.)

Him: Well, instead of dressing up, you could wear jeans and we could go for a ride on my motorcycle.

Me: Um…no. (Sidebar:  Really?!  1. You just completely changed the plan to the opposite of your original idea and 2. you REALLY think I’m gonna get on a motorcycle with some dude who apparently can’t seem to properly navigate match.com?)

Him: Well, I mean, I can’t think of anything right NOW, you put me on the spot….how about like…um…

Me: Look, you have five days to figure it out buddy.  It’s gonna be alright.

Him: Oh ok…well yea.

Me: Ok, I have to run.  Bye.  (Forever.)

Wow guy…and you wonder why you can’t seem to leave their house for a date with you??  I’m shocked and awed. …Go ahead and add one more to the list.

A hitch in the plan…

22 Apr

When I started this blog, I made a mental note that I’d have to keep it under wraps from the people I date.  I figured if I told any of them them about it beforehand, they may alter their behavior so as not to have an embarrassing cameo in my writing (i.e. Mr. Animal Style, circa last week.)  Plus, I think it would throw most guys for a loop to know that I have such a…colorful…dating life.

So let’s say a potential date IS already aware of the Vagina Monoblog…well then I suppose…I find myself in a bit of predicament:

1.) I don’t think a person would appreciate being analyzed on such a public forum.  Moreover, it may dissuade them from engaging in future activities.

2.) I wouldn’t want that person to have all the insider info on my perception of things; half the fun of dating is trying to figure out what the other person is thinking.

However, if I DON’T blog…well, that’s just not fair to my public…  😉

So, it appears I am at an impass.  To blog or not to blog…THAT is the question.