Tact…Or A Lack Thereof

16 Oct

Occasionally (read: much too frequently,) I get match.com messages from men who I am not remotely attracted to in any way, shape or form.  While not every one of these men are altogether unattractive, per se; it’s just that I’m not attracted TO them.  However, some of them are…for the sake of diplomacy, let’s say “aesthetically unappealing.”

Now generally, I will simply ignore these messages completely.  Though this may sound rude, it actually allows them to save face, by affording the possibility that I may not have read the email at all.  (To clarify, you can create a Match profile for free, but you cannot access your inbox unless you are a paid subscriber.  Since there’s no way to tell who is a paying member and who’s just tooling around for free, unanswered messages can be a regular occurrence.)

That being said, I received a message recently from a match.com-er who can be most accurately described as a bald, slightly less attractive version of Phil Margera (father of Bam Margera – of Jackass fame,) seen here:

I’m illustrating his *ahem* “questionable” looks like not to wantonly make fun of him, but to set the scene for the following email chain between the ballsy Phil Margera Doppelganger (PMDG) and myself:

PMDG: LoL …. Wow! You should prepare yourself for being single… for quite a while…. LoL

Now…I’m pretty sure he’s being rude here, but I’m going to need some verification.

Me: I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or a put down.

PMDG: LoL …. re-read your profile babe!!! …. would/could you respond to your own profile? *YIKES* LoL

….

….

….sorry for the pause, I had to take a moment to pick my jaw up off the ground.

I’m not even going to start in with my “bad grammar is a pet peeve” speech, but I’m sure you’re cringing, just as I am, due to the nails-on-a-chalkboard combination of an over-used, clichéd acronym coupled with his sardonic reference to me using a pet name.  To insult me is one thing, but coming from the body double for a drunken sloppy Santa, and to have the gall to do so without being provoked, well that’s just mystifying.

 **If you’re wondering about my profile, and what I could have possibly written to warrant that reaction, check out this coming Monday’s blog; I’ll be sharing the content of it there.  For now, just know that I specifically indicate the type of person who I do NOT want to be contacted by.  Suffice it to say, Lieutenant Creeper was certainly on that list. **

Me: Funny…I seem to get plenty of responses to it, though I’m sure it doesn’t compare to the harem of women you attract.  You know, come to think of it, I suppose there is a reason that you don’t find it appealing.  My guess is that unless our communications could get you a surprise casting on To Catch a Predator, I’m not exactly your type.

Regardless, thanks for the random and uncalled for insult to my dating profile; without that, I might never have known that there really are people out there with such low caliber.  Your tact is impeccable

As you can imagine, I received no response.

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3 Responses to “Tact…Or A Lack Thereof”

  1. Sonya October 16, 2009 at 12:33 pm #

    Thank you for telling it like it is! His photo looks like he’s looking at a computer screen, most likely at porn *YIKES*. Thank goodness for the block icon.

  2. Mike October 16, 2009 at 3:04 pm #

    Reading you blog is like drinking a good cup of coffee. Keep it coming.

  3. Sandy October 16, 2009 at 4:47 pm #

    You should’ve responded like this: Hey “babe” save your Match money and put it towards something useful like porn and cheap “massages” cuz that’s the only way your ever going to get any.

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