Men are like….shoes.
You can invest in a quality pair of sensible shoes and they will last you a lifetime. They may not be the hippest pair around, but after you break them in, they’ll always be comfortable. After a few years, they won’t be shiny and new, but they’ll still go with pretty much anything.
OR
You can get plenty of cheap stylish pairs. They catch your eye in the store, and you can’t help but try them on. They will look fantastic with your new outfit, but don’t match much else. They can be a little uncomfortable and sometimes hurt you, but will make you feel fantastic when you’re out on the town. After two or three wears, they will dull and possibly break. They’ll go out of style quickly and you’ll be shopping again in no time. You’ll always remember them fondly, and may even keep them in the back of your closet, in case they come back in style. You know they were an impulse purchase, but you still feel it was money well spent; it was an addition to your collection, if nothing else.
Men are like…drinks.
You can get a fancy cocktail, full of sugar and juice. It will make you happy immediately, maybe even light-headed; later on though, it will go straight to your hips. You might wake up the next day feeling guilty, but damn if it didn’t taste good going down…
OR
You can get a light beer, like Michelob Ultra. It’s a smart choice; it will satisfy your thirst, but will leave you wanting more. You’ll feel good about your decision, but would much rather indulge in something richer.
Men are like…cars.
You can drive an Italian sports car. It will rev you up, make you look and feel sexy, and will always be able to keep up. It’s not practical for your future, but you love to talk about it. The sounds it makes get you hot and bothered and you love how other people stare. You know it’ll lose its novelty eventually, and you probably won’t be able to afford the maintenance.
OR
You can drive a hybrid. It’s quiet, sensible, and has financial benefits. It’s a smart and safe choice, but you can’t help wondering what it would feel like to drive a big truck around once in awhile.
Remember: If you’d like to submit a question or funny story for the Mid-Week Meltdown, send an email to myvaginamonoblogs@gmail.com, with your name, age, gender, and a little something about yourself. I try to answer all questions in a timely manner.
MUAH!
and the “big smile face” 
. Sexting is not about conveying information, it’s just an 
Mid-Week Meltdown: The Age of Innocence
26 AugThis week’s question comes to us from a 20 something woman who gets carded to buy candy cigarettes.
Dear MVM,
I have been blessed with genetics that make me look years younger than my actual age. I love it, don’t get me wrong, and I realize that I’m going to look like I’m 30 by the time I’m 50, but with the good does comes the bad. I’m currently 27, but I look like I’m 19…23 at the most. Because of this, I attract all the 23 year old boys, or the 40-somethings who “like ‘em young.” As a girl who’s ready to settle down, you can see my dilemma. How do I attract the upper 20′s – mid/lower 30′s crowd and let them know that I am, in fact 27, and not, ahem, 17?
Sincerely,
Child’s Play
Dear Young Blood,
Ahh…the “age old question”…sorry, couldn’t help myself.
Yes, you’re right – you are VERY lucky. Most women would kill to look years younger than their actual age – you can thank those genetics for saving you thousands of dollars in plastic surgery down the road. (Imagine if Joan Rivers had your “dilemma;” the world would have 15 more pounds of plastic and collagen to work with.)
I have a pretty simple theory about this, but you may not like the answer. Yes, looking young can attract younger men…in the same way that looking slutty can attract dirty men and looking frumpy can attract NO men. Though it may seem that your genetics (and several statutory rape laws,) are the reason you are attracting younger men, I think there’s a lot more to it.
Have you ever said to another person, “Wow, he/she doesn’t carry him/herself like a (fill in the age here)-old. He/she is much more mature?” Or how about, “I’d never have guessed he/she was (fill in the age here,) he/she doesn’t act like that at all – he/she is so young at heart!”
Of course you have. You may look like a 12 year old, but maybe you’re getting mistaken for a 17 year old because of the way you carry yourself.
Let’s start with the external – what kind of clothes are you wearing? Are you in t-shirts and shorts the majority of the time? When you’re shopping, do you see a bunch of teenagers in the same store or department? That might be a clue to change up your style.
What about your hair and makeup? Is your main style a pony tail? Do you toss it up straight from the shower? Is your makeup nonexistent? Do you see girls who are ACTUALLY fifteen who have a better sense of style than you do? I’m not saying you need to spackle your face with 3 inches of foundation, but picking up a blush brush and some eyeliner might just do the trick.
Who are you hanging out with? If the average age of the friends in your inner circle is below the legal drinking age, I think we’re starting to see a pattern.
Where are you hanging out? Look around at the clientele. If you see video games or a large costumed mouse, and a “pizza bar,” it’s time to find a new watering hole.
Your genetics may play a role in your pattern of suitors, but you can affect that pattern by making a few simple changes. The clothes you wear, the words you choose (you may note the fact that you call yourself a “girl” in your initial question,) the way you carry yourself – all these things are factors in your “presentation.” Stop blaming your “damned good looks,” and start attracting the crowd you want by acting the part of a person who attracts that crowd.
Forever Young,
MVM
Remember: If you’d like to submit a question or funny story for the Mid-Week Meltdown, send an email to myvaginamonoblogs@gmail.com, with your name, age, gender, and a little something about yourself. I try to answer all questions in a timely manner.
Tags: age, looks, men, Mid-Week Meltdown, women, young